Paying attention is the key to connection with ourselves, others, and future possibilities of a change.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor Frankl
Attention helps us realize what's going on and what to do with it.
It can also liberate us from our own behaviors.
RAIN can help us be present with others
He helped people quit smoking by paying attention to the entire experience of smoking: They get to pay attention to the negative aspects of experience through RAIN;
R: Recognize the sensation [craving]
A: Accept it. Let it be okay. It's just a craving
I: Investigate: The feelings and sensations you're experiencing
N: Note moment to moment how those sensations change and move
Attention can overpower the most powerful addictions.
Paying attention fosters connection between people.
Making demands on someone without considering what is going on in their experience can lead to disengagement.
Picture yourself here for a second and how you would feel:
Situation one: You're in a conversation with someone who really loves you and you feel the love and care coming off of them.
Situation two: You're in a casual conversation with someone you just met; they look around the room, scan their cellphone, etc.
These two situations give us two very different experiences. How often are we as present as we want to be with the people we love?
Key to Success:
If people take into account direct and indirect cost of current circumstance, we can recognize effective ways of doing things differently; at home, the way we work together, on our health, at work, and with people we love.